August-12-2024

aoughhhhh. hasoaghh. snffle.. snfiff.... so much happened since my last entry. I have a girlfriend now! She is sooooooo cool. I lost a friend but, I ended up figuring out he was lowkey a dick to me anyways so, whatevs, annnd I got to meet up with my girlfriend and other friends irl! ^_^ it was funnn we watched a movie + ate pizza + crafted. we're gonna hang out again this week n i am excitedddd............ i got into a video game design course in my new highschool, which is always fun, alongside spanish FINALLY. things r.. looking... up??? maybe???

June-11-2024

Whoops, meant to update this on the 8th, time went by faster than I thought it did! I did the beginning of the Heartbreak focused well session w help of Ajax and Kalmia, I'm really excited to continue it and for the direction this story will go. Unrelated, today I started working more on my splatoon ocs after getting my ass kicked in turf war. I lost so god damn many times, I'm rusty from grinding big run all weekend. Speaking of Big Run, I got silver rank! Yay! I'm kinda upset the trophy this time around was so small, especially for such a giant event revealing the triumvirate attacks and such, but eh, cant do shit to fix that. I need to plan a day to go to the fabric store to get together everything for my projects. I keep planning for things months away and not thinking about what to do Now lol.

May-28-2024

Identity is.. complicated. I think everyone knows that, or, at least, we all learn that eventually. I think I know who I am, but I can never really be sure. At some point, I just have to settle for being a 'me' even when 'me' doesn't mean much at all. What is Itztli, to me? Itztli is Obsidian, it is the definition of the word. It is something made of cascading fire, something made to be sterile, or something meant to be in the ocean. To be 'Itztli', I must be a 'me' first. I must have a definition of 'self', a definition of 'humanity', or a definition of 'soul'. Reality is something subjective, I think. I've never been in the same 'reality' as everyone else. Theres a layer of frosted glass that separates me from other people, and a thinner bubble that separates 'Me' from 'Itztli' and 'Itztli' from 'Us'. My sense of self is rocky, to say the least. My parts, alters, are 'me', are 'us', are not 'Me', are not 'Us'. We are ourselves, we are us, but we are not individuals, and we are not selves. I wish I had some poetic way to finish off this entry, something to bring these thoughts together and wrap them up in a nice bow for others to digest. I don't have that. Not everything is consumable, not all experiences are made to be understood by others. I just hope I can be something understandable or, at the very least, something you care for.

May-12-2024

Not doing the best, but I'm still trying to power through it. I got a ghostandpals song stuck in my head (lol) and despite not rllllyyy liking GhostP for personal reasons, ive been listening to it anyways. trying to not let the shitty actions of the person taint the music?? i guess lolll. I learned about universe 25 today, really interesting stuff. 5 rats in a colony made for 5000 rats, seeing what happens. (spoiler alert: they fucking DIED after reachig a peak population of 2,200). reminds me of wire/cloth mother, as in, 'this gets filed under the ''fucked up experiment that probably says something about life as a whole i'm too bleh to extract myself'' part of my brain'. Oh right i got to play Dhev yesterday in the Well, funnn stuff! I've been waiting so long I felt like I was actually going insane so it's so great to finally get that out and reveal some stuff (like Martyr, her name, design, relation to Bob, etc). I'm kinda excited for the next game despite being like oghhhh near the end of last session (personal stuffff).

May-09-2024

Aaaah, HTML is so nerve-wracking. I've never done anything like this in depth before, it stressed me out a bit b4 I found out I had enough resources 2 do it. I wasn't even sure if writing this would work at alll, but it did!!! I'm so excited to actually get this website up n running lolll, we always wanted a website xP